“The Cordova Family Collection'
The easiest thing for me to write about is my family; therefore, I made them my central focus and did my best to be honest and have fun with this assignment! Enjoy!
“Sweet Olivia'
My sweet, sweet daughter
I think to myself as you doze
Caressing your cheeks
Rubbing your toes
I watch you roll over
Your hair all a mess
As I pray over you, darling
I can’t help but feel blessed
In the morning you’ll rise
All rested and vibrant
By the time night falls
I’ll be wishing for silent
You are crazy about art,
Books and high heels
You love make up and clothes
Gymnastics and cartwheels
And so the circle goes
Year after year
Listen for me baby
You’ll always hear me cheer
“Boys Will be Boys'
Rambunctious and dirty
From morning til’ night
My eyes may not wander
Or you’ll give me a fright
You jump off of beds
Climb trees, and dig dirt
Play baseball, and basketball
Sometimes you get hurt
You have bruises and bumps
From elbow to shin
And while falling off your bike,
You manage to grin
I find rocks in your pockets,
Fake snakes in my bed
You keep my world spinning
Til’, at last, night ..
when you finally rest your head.
“My Love'
For you all my love
Time will never fade away
For you, forever
Within my heart, love
Distance is merely a word
In my dreams, always
I wait for you, love
I remember your soft face
My heart aches for love
Think of me, my love
In the minutes, hours, and days
For me, come home, stay
“My Pup'
I have a dog named Zoe Jane
The cutest one on our whole lane
She likes to catch flies
Even with closed eyes
Yes, that’s my pup Zoe Jane
She’s the laziest one in town
Around her, you’ll never frown
She’s clumsy and sweet
Won’t turn down a treat
She brings me up when I’m feeling down.
She is only five, you see
A French Mastiff that’ll make you flee
Her face hangs low
Her slobber flows
But she’s a beautiful sight to me!
“Family Picture'
The mountains devour us in their majestic presence
Our silent whispers echo effortlessly throughout the endless range
The rocks, formed in perfectly imperfect shapes
Show the truest grace one’s eyes may ever see
The children giggle as their feet crunch burnt orange leaves beneath their feet
The sound of joy bursts from my heart like a fish
Springing out of the crystal-clear water,
Excited to be alive, free
His arms wrap tightly around my waist
A promise to never let go flows from his veins, into mine
As we watch the babies hug tightly together
Under the warmth of our love and one single, thick blanket.
I can taste the beauty that surrounds me
As he plants a kiss on my lips
The sweetest flavors could never compare
To the savory feeling of love
Fresh air fills our lungs
as we breathe in all of God’s creation
Yet his smell lingers about my head like the halo of an angel
Glowing, natural, and pure
Andrew Lange
Michelle,
First of all, I like how you organized your collection; its subject matter is relatable to the reader, even without any other supplemental statement giving the reader extra information and insight; most people have family or at least spend a fair amount of time with rambunctious children; things like your title “Boys will be boys” are very relatable.
Your lines are of excellent length; you have undoubtedly put a fair amount of time and thought into this; not just a few, short lines. I notice some rhyming, so you definitely are familiar with working with poetry.
Each individual poem does an excellent job of following an independent theme; daughter, brothers, family pets. Your titles break this up quite well and make it obvious that, although the entire collection is about the general overarching topic of family, you have split it up by having a piece about each specific aspect of family. This makes it flow quite easily for the reader. The only thing I’m not sure about is if the titles really need to be in quotation marks, but I could be wrong on that. It does, however, make the division between each piece all the more obvious to the first-time reader thereof.
I appreciate your length. You didn’t just do your best to fit the minimum requirements of the assignment; I would argue that you have gone above and beyond its expectations by far. Your lines aren’t just short and sweet; they flesh out. Even your number of lines goes above and beyond; in my own version of this I struggled to even make 10, and it was even a topic I was fairly passionate about and well-versed in. Of course, it’s always easier to write about something you are familiar with, hence the old adage “write about what you know” which is what I have always done.
You’ve been fairly meticulous with your rhyming schedule, which shows effort. I always try and eventually give up myself. But it’s not super apparent unless you’re intentionally looking for it or analyzing it; it flows well, it isn’t obvious unless the reader intentionally looks for it, as I am here of course, being that we are workshopping each other.
Overall, the only things I would change might be the deletion of the quote marks on the titles and if anything your pieces are a bit lengthy. That said, of course, this is in contrast to the many short poems out there, so short you hardly even have any idea what the subject matter or backstory really is.
Katherine Whelchel
Michelle!
What a gorgeous collection of poems! I was so moved by each one, as your love for your family pour from every word. I felt your unique connections to each person (and pup) you wrote about. I think you were very smart to choose your family for your topic; deep feelings of passion and love create gorgeous expressions. The flow of your poems was smooth and sweet, and your focus on a specific person or memory really encased your pieces and helped to structure them!
I read “Sweet Olivia” to my mom because I was so moved by it. Your use of the words “darling” and “baby” as sweet nicknames for your daughter was wise; it gave a glimpse into your deep love for her! I thought that the rhyming pattern was well done and fit because you were describing your young daughter. In a similar way, “Boys Will Be Boys” was rich with loving descriptions of (I assume) your son. I liked how these two poems about your kids were similarly styled.
“My Love” was my favorite of all your poems. With short stanzas, the saying “less is more” definitely applies to this piece. You captured love and passion in concentrated ways that clearly conveyed your heart. The language was not super complex, which I really liked. I usually prefer for love to be communicated in poems in an unusual a unique way, almost like a maze guiding the reader to your heart. However, I feel that your piece was better because of the simplicity; it was raw and honest.
Lastly, I wanted to say how delighted I was with your “Family Picture” poem! I’m so glad that you changed up the structuring and made the lines longer. This was the poem that had the greatest description in my opinion. The great variety of things you had to paint a picture of, just to describe the single photo, set you up for a rich poem. Overall, great job! 🙂
-Katherine
Sierra Russell-McCollum
Michelle,
First off I have to say that I love that you centered your poems around your family. It brought me so much joy reading these. I am a family person myself so this really hit home for me.
Your first poem “Sweet Olivia†was so touching. I love a mother daughter bound, considering I was the biggest mama’s girl when I was young. I loved the way you made everything rhyme and how well it all flowed together. Reading the little things about Olivia was the cutest. I remember being in the age where dress up was all I wanted to do and my mother wishing for it to be silent as night time comes by. This poem was so incredibly sweet to read and I loved every moment of it.
Your second poem “Boy’s Will Be Boys†really captures the description of young boys. Your poem is fast pace which resembles young boys. I grew up with a little brother and all boy cousins so I know the kaos that comes with them. It’s never ending. I feel like you did a very good capturing the craziness an especially describing it. The poem was fast pace and kept my attention throughout the entire thing.
Your next poem “My Love†mae my heart ache in a good way. It was short and simple, but I felt like it portrayed so much more. Your love means a lot to you and this poem really shows that. I really like poems that are short and simple like this. It leaves so much room for question. I felt satisfied after reading this. You didn’t really describe your lover, instead you described your love for eachother and I feel like that made the piece so much better. The love between two people is truly magical and I felt like this poem definitely did a good job portraying that.
“My Pup†was the next poem and this also was a hit for me. I loved how it almost sounded like a kid nursery rhyme. I was smiling the entire time I was reading this poem. I used to have a dog that acted like Zoe Lane except her name was Daisy May and was a Bullmastiff Rottweiler, she had a vengeance for flies as well. Sadly she is no longer with us, but this poem reminded me of her. It’s pretty amazing to have a family dog that is the sweetest, they truly do so much for us by just being alive. Like Zoe Lane my dog daisy wasn’t the sweetest site, she looked more like she was always ready to fight (I didn’t mean to make that rhyme lol). I think dogs like ours are actually the best. This poem is probably my favorite out of your poetry pack.
Your last poem “Family Picture†was such a good way to end it all. Everything about it felt so complete. I loved the description of the mountain and the scenery you were seeing. I felt like I was standing there viewing it all with you. You have a way of showing the love you are feeling with just a few simple words and that is truly amazing. Throughout all your poems I felt the unconditional love you had for everything you wrote about and that really helped make your poetry pack so enjoyable to read.
Aubri Stogsdill
Michelle,
I loved that you decided to focus on your family. Love for family is something so relatable and your poems really touched my heart. “Sweet Olivia” was BEAUTIFUL. I’m not a mom, but is that isn’t a picture of motherhood I don’t know what is! I liked that you talk about how you love her, but also that you need quiet by the end of the day! And I so enjoyed that you ended it telling her you’d always be cheering her on. As a college student about to leave my teen years, I can say that knowing your mom is behind you and is your biggest fan bring so much comfort. Your daughter is blessed.
I liked the contrast of “Boys Will Be Boys” and “Sweet Olivia”. Little boys and little girls are SO different! There is such a fight and desire for adventure that is busting out of little boys, and yet such a sweet and precious tenderness and beauty within little girls. Reading one poem after the other and seeing the stark different in personality and tendency was enjoyable.
“My Love” was sweet and sad. Is your spouse military by chance?
In Family Portrait the line “A promise to never let go flows from his veins, into mine” gave me chills! This poem was by far my favorite out of your collection. Your poem showed the beauty of family as well as the value of lasting love. Your poems were lovely, and the love that you have for your family is inspiring! (:
Aundrea Pierce
Michelle,
I love how family inspires your collection. I used family to help me with mine as well. I could sense you put a lot of thought into the structure of your poems and how the flow. You have a beautiful talent, and I enjoyed reading your pieces.
“Sweet Olivia†was sweet. The flow was smooth, and one can easily keep the image of a baby in mind. I don’t have much constructive criticism for this one, the whole piece is simple and sweet, like a baby. “Boys Will be Boy†had a faster tempo as I read, probably the word choices kept me moving quickly along. I thought it was a wise choice to slow it down in the last two lines. I like your choice of the punctuation and space to help the reader slow down and hone in. You successfully took me on a short roller coaster ride with your summed-up day with your boys!
I enjoyed “My Love†it was also short and simple. The way you repeated “love†and “my love†in the first lines of the stanzas helped to give the piece order and keep the reader hooked to the main subject. Did you write “My Pup†because you know what a big, annoying, dog lover I am? Thanks! What an adorable piece. The only thing I could suggest with this one is to put her image in the beginning maybe. For me, it would just be nice to imagine her cute little face as I’m reading the rest.
“Family Picture†was a very nice piece of imagery. Someone may have mentioned already, but I think in the second stanza, the first line would sound better if “their feet†were just taken out at the end since you already mentioned it a few words earlier. I like how you included taste, sound, and smell “Yet his smell lingers about my head like the halo of an angel.†You did lovely work on all of them, if I had to choose my favorite I would say it’s a tie between “my love” and “my pup”. I’m not sure why but those two made me smile most.
Naimy Schommer
Michelle-
This is such a fun collection!
“Sweet Olivia†is such a fun, bouncy poem. I love the movement I see from the subject and you capture your love for her very well. I was a little confused about the age of “Olivia.†In the beginning, she seems to be a baby or young child, but in the 4th stanza, you talk about her being crazy about books and high heels which seem to carry an older theme. I think this poem could be really nice if you were to work it to show her growing up, or at least to how old she currently is. Move from the “caressing your cheeks/rubbing your toes†to taking steps to maybe learning to speak (or make the noise you want silence from) to getting into gymnastics and such. This format has potential to show time passing, but your love for this child remains the same.
I really like how you continued the same rhythm into your second poem, “Boys Will Be Boys.†The same rhyme scheme creates a sense of unity between the children that makes the two seem very cohesive and connected. The tripped rhyme at the end is interesting; I like that. I’m not completely sure how the title ties in. If you wanted to keep that title, I’d suggest going into more depth with how, even though the boys are “rambunctious and dirty†and give you lots of grief, you still love them and their tricks. This poem, compared to “Sweet Olivia†focuses more on the subjects’ actions instead of your love for them (or their actions).
“My Love†and “My Pup†are dear and sweet. I don’t have too much critique on those. Very soft and lovely.
“Family Picture†is interesting. I like the descriptions, and I think this one provides the deepest look into your family dynamic, but I think the third stanza is too intimate to fit with the others. It just carries a heightened tone. That being said, I think this one is my favorite. Although it’s not as cohesive as the others, the descriptions are beautiful and I love the last stanza.
Overall, I think your work is tender and very heartfelt. It reflects a mothers love for her children, and a wife’s love for her husband very clearly. I can feel the love you have for your family members, and that is beautiful. I think these poems could benefit from a bit more punctuation. Especially in “My Love,†the rhythm is a little hard to catch from the start without complete sentences to follow. When things get a little jumbled in my own work, I like to use a trick. I write out the poem as if it were prose and make sure my thoughts make sense that way. For example, try writing
“For you all my love
Time will never fade away
For you, forever.â€
as
“For you all my love time will never fade away for you, foreverâ€
It’s a little easier to see where it can be confusing when written in prose. If I were editing this poem, I might try “For you: all my love. Time will never fade away. For you: foreverâ€
That being said, these were cute and lovely and enjoyable to read. Keep on writing!
Monica Gallagher
Michelle,
Your poetry warms my heart. The love that you feel for your family radiates out from your writing. I love how simplistic and detailed the first poems are, how it tells the story of your kids. It’s great that you are so comfortable openly sharing about your family. It felt very comforting and loving, like home. Your collection, felt to me like “chicken soup for the soul” of poetry.
The last poem was a pleasant surprise. The amount of detail and the additional length, added a lot, and it was a great finale piece. “The children giggle as their feet crunch burnt orange leaves beneath their feet”, is my favorite line. Like the rest of your poems in the collection, it automatically presents a visual image that is reminiscent and happy. Your use of imagery is perfect.
I imagine you live in Alaska. Reading through it, reminded me of home. I can’t tell if it just made me think of home because you were speaking in such a cozy homie way or if you do live in Ak. You will have to let me know. “The mountains devour us in their majestic presence”, this line is pretty epic for me. The word devour is so huge and I get the feeling of the mountains as an actual being, a presence, as you had said. I love that about poetry. The fact that you can so quickly develop a feeling, a visual, a thought process. It doesn’t always work that way with traditional writing.
“A promise to never let go flows from his veins, into mine” makes me think about and feel that energetic connection of our loved ones. The internal thought process of our bodies speaking to each other and recognizing each other. I like how “Family Picture” is all encompassing. You talk about the land, your life, the kids and our love, it’s great. Looking thought the collection, you would think that some of it may seem to be mushy, but it’s not, at all. I really like and appreciate how you can communicate about all these things that you love in a manner that’s not too gushy.
I just looked at the very beginning of the collection and realized that you it’s titled “The Cordova Family Collection”, so disregard my comment from earlier. It’s great that I could recognize that it was speaking of Alaska though, that really says a lot about your description and the feeling that I could get from our writing. It did feel like home!
You write so sweetly about your family that I really think you should save these for your kids. Write more and save them for those little tootsies. That would be awesome for them to get older and read of those “little” big moments that were happening. I’m sure it would make them feel very special and it would just be an awesome memento. Plus, they are just great in general, frame it in their rooms. They can always have a reminder of mom!
Caitlyn Williams
Michelle,
I loved your introduction! I appreciated that you let the readers know you were being honest, and having fun! It shows your character, and makes for a positive beginning. I like how each poem was about the people in your family. Family is really important, and I’ll bet your family would love this collection! I can visualize all the adventures and memories you made with them. I feel the love that you and your family have. Families have bonds that are different than any other.
I loved the first poem in your collection. The bond you have with your daughter really showed through and your last stanza shows that your bond will never break, it really made me happy!
The poem about Zoe Jane was really fun to read as well. The first stanza was creative! I liked that the first and last lines ended with Zoe Jane. Your descriptions are great, I can visualize Zoe being an easy going big ball of joy and slobber. She sounds fun to play with, and and easy to take care of. I don’t think I’ve seen a French Mastiff, but I’d imagine they get huge!
Overall all of your poems were great, and I liked how you chose family as your centerpiece. It shows your values, and the poems fit together well. “Family Picture†was a poem that was filled with meaning. I liked how it was the final poem, that tied it together. It was longer than the others and that shows the connection you all have. It summed up your family well, and left the reader feeling wholesome. I loved the structures of your poems and how they rhymed. It made the poems voice stand out, and I really enjoyed the rhythm.
Cassidy Kramer
Hello Michelle!
I loved that you focused on your family! I am also very close with my family, and always will be. I agree that it is very easy to write about them.
My personal favorite out of all your poems was “Sweet Oliviaâ€. I like this poem the most because it is very easy to read. While I am reading, as with other readers I am sure, I do not like having a lot of distractions like loss of flow. Your poem seemed to keep the perfect flow throughout it, leaving the reader to only think about what is being said. Onto what is being said, you make it very clear that you love your daughter very much. I believe you relate to the reader in the sense that when you love someone so much, you just lay there with them thinking about how much you love them. I believe using “Sweet Olivia†in the beginning of your poem was a great idea, setting the tone for what the reader will be expecting.
The next poem “Boys Will be Boys†is a great follow up to “Sweet Oliviaâ€. First you are describing a sweet peaceful poem about your daughter, and then you go on to the boy’s poem talking about how rambunctious they are. This poem also flowed very well until the last part when you say “Til’, at last, night …†When I first read the poem, I had a certain pattern, or tune, with the words you were giving me. Then, once I got to this part I lost it. However, once I read it a second time, I understood what you were trying to get at.
“My Love†is a lovely poem. Even though it is short, it conveys so much! For that, I do not have much to say about it.
I LOVE “My Pupâ€! When I read it, it gives this sort of bounce to it which makes it very cute. I especially love the line “Yes, that’s my pup Zoe Janeâ€. Also, when it says, “Her face hangs low, her slobber flows, but she’s a beautiful sight to me!†Those lines put a smile on my face, and I love how you kept them in that same bouncy flow.
Last but certainly not least, you have the poem “Family Pictureâ€. I really enjoyed this poem because it overlooks the rest of the collection. You first start with your daughter, then your son, then your love, then your dog, and then you bring them all together. The imagery you used in this poem is also very impressive. I love how you talk about your Love’s sweet kiss that no other taste can compare to.
I am sorry that I do not have a lot of critiques for you. I do not have a family of my own yet, so this poem got me excited about my future when I will finally be lucky enough to feel what you feel. You are an amazing poet, and I hope that you continue to show it! Great job with this assignment.
-Cassidy
Corbin Knapp
I think that it is amazing that you made all your poems themed around your family! All of your poems are really touching and give a glimpse into your life which makes these poems extremely relatable to a lot of people.
“Sweet Olivia†is a very touching poem (about your daughter I presume?) that flows very well and kept me engaged throughout the whole poem. It was just the right length for a poem in my opinion, and your use of rhymes added an extra flair to the poem. A line that made me laugh is, “ In the morning you’ll rise All rested and vibrant By the time night falls I’ll be wishing for silent.†I think many people can relate to this line and laugh at the times when they were hyper at night to the exasperation of their parents.
“Boys Will be Boys†was a great poem that I “as someone who used to be a little boy myself†can easily relate to. “Rambunctious and dirty From morning til’ night My eyes may not wander Or you’ll give me a fright.†I have done this to my poor mother before, as I have disappeared to do some random thing that probably was hazardous to my health. You captured the nature of little boys very well as I have done every single thing you mentioned in your poem except putting snakes in my mom’s bed. A poem that I think is a good fit into the theme of family for your collection is “My Loveâ€. One thing that I was confused about when I read your poem was if this poem was about your husband or your whole family. Besides that it flowed smoothly and matched the theme of your collection perfectly.
I’m glad that you included a poem about a pet in your collection, because I view pets as family as well. “My Pup†is another poem in your collection that I noticed you included rhymes in. An example being, “She’s clumsy and sweet Won’t turn down a treat.” Your dog sounds awesome, and you did a great job at describing her. I think it’s cool that you are the only one that has included rhymes in your poems out of the workshops I have read so far. “Family Picture†was a great final addition to your poem collection because it is a poem about your whole family, and not just certain members. “The children giggle as their feet crunch burnt orange leaves beneath their feet The sound of joy bursts from my heart like a fish.†I think this is a great line because it provides some great descriptions of the scene and also includes a simile.
I enjoyed reading your collection, and I’m afraid I don’t have anything really to criticize. The one thing that you could maybe change to make the collection better is to make “My Love†Rhyme. The other poems in your collection rhyme and to only have one poem that doesn’t rhyme is a little awkward. But besides that it was perfect, nice job!
Jessica Honebein
Michelle! I absolutely loved the titles of your collection and each poem. I think that all of them caught my attention and urged me to read more. When I first read this I thought that it was going to be about you growing up in Cordova Alaska so it was a nice surprise when it was all about you and your family!
Sweet Olivia- I love how this poem gave insight into your life and how much you care for your daughter. I think that you also helped show the reader about her personality. The aspects of her that really shine and spark the love that you have for her. I like how you ended the poem with such a statement that you will always be there to cheer her on.
Boys Will Be Boys- I think that this poem helped to show the other side of your life, the adventurous, messy, and fun. It truly shares how much you care for your sons and how big of a part of your life they are. I think that the title suited the poem and what you were wanting to get the readers to feel as they read the poem.
My Love- I like the simplicity and the length of this poem. I feel that it was just enough to show how much you care for your “love†without sugar coating the feelings too much. I like that you continued with the theme of seeing them from your eyes and the importance they gave you. I think that you show a good amount of imagery with the simplicity so I enjoyed reading this poem.
My Pup- I like the change in style of them poem, I think that this one flowed very well off the tongue. I absolutely love dogs so I think that I was most excited to read this poem. It was super adorable and described the love you have for your dog at the same time. I liked how you also included the description of the dog and I was able to picture exactly what it looked like and also imagine some of the attitude that the dog has.
Family Pictures- I think that this poem was the last one to add variety to the poems that your wrote. I think that it helped to embody all the spirit and joy that your family has for one another. I think that this one was one of my favorites out of the whole collection that you wrote because it included a lot of imagery. Although the other poems were easy to follow along with imagery is always nice to get the imagination of the reader flowing!
Overall I loved all the variety that you gave in the poems you wrote. It is amazing how much love you show for your family and the care that you have. I think that it is a good way to express your feelings to your loved ones and I hope you share these with them!
Ben Knapp
I really enjoyed reading your poetry. It seems that writing about your family comes easy to you, and your poetry has smooth flow and a good rhythm, I especially liked how you managed to make everything rhyme. The poetry kept the reader’s attention for the entire collection, and it was entertaining to read.
As I said before, I really like how you rhymed everything. You did a good job of keeping it from being “tacky,†as it might have become if you hadn’t handled it so well. The poetry was focused on the subject matter, and not on the rhymes, so there weren’t any awkward parts where a word or phrase was included just because it rhymes. Everything in your poetry works flawlessly with all the other elements.
Your second poem was very good, but it did leave me with a couple questions. In the poem, you mostly seem to talk about little boys in general, without really mentioning anything about yours in particular. I would have liked to see a little more about them and their different interests. What are their names? How are they different? A bit more detail in the poem about this would help to make your poetry connect with the reader a little more by showing what makes them special and unique. Of course, maybe it was your intention to just describe boys in general.
“My Pup†was also a really nice poem. I happen to own a lab-dane mix, so I know all about big, sweet, clumsy dogs. I’m not sure if I entirely get the line about catching flies with closed eyes, but, other than that, I think the poem was perfect. My favorite stanza was the last: “She is only five, you see, A French Mastiff that’ll make you flee, Her face hangs low, Her slobber flows, But she’s a beautiful sight to me!†Your word choice in this stanza helps the reader get a detailed mental image of your dog, especially the lines “Her face hangs low, Her slobber flows.†I can totally picture your dog drooling over everything, just the way my dog does.
Your last poem seemed to break with the style of your previous poems. Rather than your usual, lighthearted style that is prevalent in almost all of your other poetry, you seem to go for a deeper, more “poetic†theme. With lines like “The mountains devour us in their majestic presence†and “Our silent whispers echo effortlessly throughout the endless range,†it presents a strong contrast with the rest of your poetry. This is a welcome change however, as the poem itself does tie in very neatly with the rest of your work. All-in-all, it serves as a perfect ending to your poetry collection.
As I said before, your poetry was very good and I enjoyed reading it. You maintained a very good flow, and the use of rhyming helped keep the reader’s attention as he moved along the work. The poems themselves were clever and pleasant, and there where no point at which I didn’t find reading it fun.
Mekayla
“Sweet Oliviaâ€- What a beautiful poem! How much you love your daughter shines through. I love cute, sentimental poems like these. Reading this did make me wonder how old Olivia was and if she had gotten a chance to read/listen to this. Either way, what a lucky girl to have such a loving mother.
“Boys Will be Boysâ€- This poem had a sing-songy quality that I loved. I think that everyone can appreciate a good nursery rhyme, we all grew up with them, and this style of poetry really fits your subject. Again, very cute! I have absolutely no suggestions.
“My Loveâ€- Your longing is almost palpable in this poem. I can feel the great distance between you and your significant other, but your strength and affection are far greater than it. What a beautiful sentiment. I think the repetition works very well for this poem, and I like the shortness of the stanzas. You did an amazing job at expressing such complex and strong feelings with just a few stanzas. I think that this one is my favorite of the collection.
The last two poems were both very sweet, and such a good way to end this collection. You did an amazing job at depicting your family and your incredible love for them. Your poetry pack has left me with lots of happy feelings, and I hope your family knows how lucky they are to have you! Thank you for sharing your work, you did a wonderful job, keep writing!