Poetry #1: Naimy Schommer


This is a collection of poems that were, in one way or another, born in the margins of notes taken for classes this semester. “'Think Big’' was originally scribbled over the top of algebra scrap paper, and “Forecasting' was extracted from some notes on T.S. Eliot’s “The Wasteland'. “Full-Circle' was a labor of love written for my best friend’s upcoming bridal shower that started in the back of a Jack London novel. I wrote the last lines of “Insomnic Sonnet' on the inside of a paper coffee sleeve. “For Myself,' though it started and stalled in the fall of 2017, was frantically re-inspired one Sunday morning this semester when I frustratedly gave up on beautifying a research paper with similes.


“Think Big'
Today we met after class
as usual.
He set his laptop up on the desk
and I pulled out the week’s
New Yorker.
We sat silent for hours.
Our heads were inches apart,
shoulders brushing;
curled into each other.

His hand would move from my knee
to his keyboard every so often.
He was doing chemistry
as he stroked his eyebrow
and occasionally tapped his thumb
on his jeans.

I was dodging math homework
and he was bugging me about it,
every so often tapping my knee
with an understood sense of purpose;
we compromised with dinner.

I read a wonderful article
about a painter named Laura Owens.
It’s titled “Think Big' and was written
by Peter Schjeldahl.
He used the phrase
“a gently rhythmic unity'
to describe her artwork of
contrasting colors,
but I linked it to Levi and myself
and it might be the same thing.

I am to give a speech
at my best friend’s wedding
dressed as a Maid of Honor
with a glass of champagne dangling
from two fingers like a string of beads.

“She’s dated some gems.'
I scratch it from my manuscript.
I just want to focus on the good.
She only sees Mark
and that’s the whole point.

It’s always been circles with these two.
They’ve missed each other
three or four times now,
But everything’s come full-circle.'

I was the first who knew she loved Mark.
She couldn’t hide it–her relief
and our friendship grew
around the secret we shared.
Years went by
and I stood guard at her heart.

I was grounds crew and janitor
for when she needed right-ing,
a stand-up act and DJ
for when she needed cheer.
I still am.

My job used to be more important.
She was a feeble thing
when I first started sweeping
the anxiety back like dust
with laughter.

Much has changed.
We met when we were just children
and developed a friendship
over hiding from classmates at lunch
and watching Ryan Reynolds movies on weekends.
We grew into each other.

At the start,
I was too loud, she was too quiet.
I had no sympathy for others,
she had nothing else.
We’ve evened each other out a bit.

I moved though, after we graduated
and I thought briefly that the distance
would get the best of our love for each other;
would make me forget her warmth.
It’s been four years but

I called her this week when my heart
skipped a beat at the cute thing my boyfriend did.
She called me the next day to tell me about
the amazing job she interviewed for.
We talked about blue kitchen cabinets

and what she’s going to name
her future children. I vented brimming frustration
and she reminded me of the empathy
she’s shown me within myself.
She found her wedding dress last week.

Its patterned with white lace
pressed and sewn and steamed
into trails and scallops that frame
the woman
who’s heart once needed my protection.
It’s been four years and

I am to give a speech
at my best friend’s wedding
dressed as a Maid of Honor
with a glass of champagne dangling
from two fingers like a string of beads.

It rained this week. Already
I am predicting the storms, canvassing the dull skies
when I catch a shattering of chilled drops–
crisp, cold, exploding with
expectant surprise, across my nose.
But no, I won’t be dreary!
Darkened, heathered, but still capturing
inside the sullen clouds
endless cycles:
evaporation, downpour, the inevitable gathering
of the dew, the fresh puddles
all pointing one way–skyward.
I lift my face. Refreshing,
it runs through my eyelashes, feathers
my cheeks. How lovely it is
to enjoy with a tilted brow,
how gentle as a petal’s touch.
And as I feel it seep to my scalp,
remembering renewal,
how much easier now,
to forecast.

Insomnic Sonnet
The sound of shipwrecks startles me awake
and sea waves overtake the plunging stern.
What must I do to calmly make them break,
and for my thoughts from meeting to adjourn?
A restless wand’r in this pillowed cove,
I seem to keep away from dearest sleep;
how many wonders I have passed in groves
but Oh! the load is much and bedding deep!
I toss and turn like salty ocean waves
disintegrating ship and mind alike–
how with these flourished waftures may I lay
as undulations clip; no soft in sight?
      Like divers after pearls in waters deep,
      so do I cherish my elusive sleep.

For Myself
In terms of guilt and passion,
I have much of those
ingrained in spectacular fashion
upon my propped-up prose.

I dabble in arts of all minds,
I paint in both oils and pastel
and sing through every incline
as well as each falling spell.

My poetry plays second-string
to my unkempt heartbeat
but reminds me of my rhythm’s ring
and keeps me grounded on my feet.

“Jesus knows your insides.'
And while that might save my soul
it doesn’t curb the swelling tide
to which I feel the pull.

Jesus gave me things to sigh
but not an audience at hand.
When you read, I poke “Its only a try'
knowing you most likely won’t understand.

But if only Him and I are well-informed
in the construction of my heart
these words will seem less forlorn
when I write to feel what they impart.

12 thoughts on “Poetry #1: Naimy Schommer

  1. Andrew Lange


    I very much enjoyed reading through your collection. Unlike mine, yours look like they really had some thought given to them; they have been around for awhile as mentioned in your introductory statement. I particularly enjoyed your introductory statement, as it gave me some background and backstory into your writing I would not have otherwise had.

    Often, for me, whenever I read a piece of poetry I find myself starved for meaning and context, but having an intro statement helps a lot, from understanding how it was written to how it was inspired; poetry usually takes a fair amount of revision.

    For much of your work, I could very much envision the life of a typical college student, especially one going through the beginning stages of a relationship and/or spending large amounts of time studying with a partner prior to an exam or trying to fight through homework whose concepts are difficult to grasp at best. (This gives me flashbacks to my first semester of college, spent in the math lab fighting my way through 105N; I still pulled a D).

    Your descriptions of things like “dodging math homework” and “him doing chemistry” remind me of a couple interesting college roommates I had who I was also close friends with (One was actually a friend prior); we would sit up very late at night, avoiding homework while gossiping about other things.

    I enjoyed the subject matter of your writing, but my only suggestion would be that your subject matter possibly flow a little more smoothly; in the case of your piece describing avoiding homework and the like it seems to suddenly jump to having read another work by someone somewhere else and this seems like a sudden transition to me. That said, of course it’s your writing, so do as you wish; I don’t necessarily know what reasons you might have had for putting that in there; if it’s a crucial piece by all means keep it.

    Finally, I just thought I would mention I very much related to your descriptions of how much of this work originally was just randomly scribbled in places like notebook margins. I myself find myself doing this, not so much with poetry but with lists and the like; it still sometimes builds its own character though, a worthy story. I’ve literally saved some of them because they could be good stories, et al why else would I have a piece of paper with every storage lot and tow company in the Fairbanks area and their phone number? (actual fairly amusing story).

  2. Sierra Russell-McCollum


    I really enjoyed reading your poetry pack. In the very beginning, I loved hearing how each poem was created. I felt like this helped the reader imagine the time place you wrote this and it helped draw a picture in my head. I love hearing about how a piece of writing was created and this definitely brought a smile to my face.

    Your first poem “Think Big” definitely made me smile. From the moment I started reading it, I loved it. You and your significant other (I assume) reminded me of my boyfriend and I. Everything you two did together was exactly like our school nights spent together. Me avoiding my math homework because I hated it so much and him nagging me about doing it. I loved the way you described his tiny mannerisms, such as him tapping your leg. I felt like that added so much to the poem even though it was something so small. While reading the poem you can feel the connection and affection between the two of you and you did a good job of showing that.

    Your second poem “Full-Circle” was very touching. It’s always exciting when your best friend gets married. I can feel your nervousness in your poem but also the excitement. The way you described your guys’ relationship was so simple yet I completely understood how close you two are together. The quick and short ways you would describe your guyses ways helped the poem slow smoothly. At the end of the poem, I loved how you ended it with the first sentence of the poem.

    “Forecasting” was also a hit for me. The way you described the weather was very mesmerizing. I am a huge fan of rainy weather, so your descriptions made me feel like I was picturing it. I would have to say my favorite line would have to be “I lift my face. Refreshing, it runs through my eyelashes, feathers my cheek” I felt like I was back in Oregon standing out in the rain. You have a way of describing things so well that you can almost feel it or see it in a way.
    “Insomnic Sonnet” was a well-written poem. I like how short it was because in a way it left me wanting more. The rhyming was spot on and wasn’t too much. I loved the way you described the beach and the waves to your sleep. Everything worked well together in this poem.

    Finally your last poem “For Myself” this has to be my favorite out of your collection. I loved the rhymes and the way everything was set up. It flowed so smoothly making it easy to read. It definitely isn’t something people are going to understand right away, the reader definitely has to think about the meaning. And that’s what I really like about your poem. I was very much engulfed in this piece. I loved the emotion your poem was radiating the entire way. It helped add so much character. Most of your poem’s I could really relate to so I really enjoyed your work and love your style.

  3. Monica Gallagher

    Your poetry is very descriptive and thoughtful. Its calming in a way, as the words slowly paint a picture of a scene or a thought. There’s a very subtle emotion that comes out of some of them, but it’s so delicate that you can’t even fully acknowledge it. That lends itself to a sort of mystery that you want to hold onto, so you keep reading. It also leaves you with an indifferent feeling, that maybe you haven’t fully experienced the work all the way.

    It’s a necessary tool, but at the same time, I feel like I want to tell you to open up more. I’m not even sure in what way or necessarily why, because I’m not sure what that would like when it happened. But, maybe give that a shot? I would be curious to see what you’re free writing is compared to what your poems are. In reading them, it seems like they are very structured and are holding back. That may be completely my own projection on them, but I figured I would make not of it with my fresh eyes.

    I like how you used the same stanza in both opening and closing in “Full Circle”, it fits the poem and title well. I appreciated the ending in the first poem “Think Big”, showing the correlation in your thought process and pulling the reader into that was intimate. It paired the intimacy of every day that you had portrayed in the beginning to the inner working thought intimacy of the closing. “Forecasting” was invigorating but I didn’t get the closing line at all, it sort of went over my head. I almost thought it would end at remembering renewal, so am confused a little by that. Great imagery and imagination though with “Forecasting”.

    I really liked the “Insomnic Sonnet”, I am pretty sure I was internally reading it in a pirate’s voice and it made me laugh. The rhythm was on point and there was a definite sound and motion to it. “For myself” was a perfect closing poem for the collection and I appreciated your honesty in portraying your style.

    Your work is fantastic. It is intellectual and delicate. It has very effective imagery and wit. The feeling that it represents to me in reading it is phenomenal. It makes me feel like I’m in a Woody Allen film, like a European who is living in the outskirts of L.A. who doesn’t even like California. The emotions and thoughts of the pieces are so delicate that it feels like if you were to try and make sense of them they would disappear before you were able to. It’s almost like a dream that you try to remember when you first wake up and then it’s gone. I know I had said before to open up more, but if that deters from this sort of delicate mystery, then maybe don’t.

    Your intro statement describing when and where you were writing some of these poems says to me that you are 100% a writer. Never Stop.

  4. Aundrea Pierce


    “Think Big” has a nice flow and tempo while reading. I appreciate how I didn’t have to stop and interpret any lines. I like the small details you included in just simply sitting next to each other, “and occasionally tapped his thumb on his jeans.” Then a few lines down you write about “every so often tapping my knee,” I found this a clever way to display “a gently rhythmic unity”. Each stanza related to the same thing, great work!

    “Full-Circle” was adorable and made me miss the warm special friendships I had in High school. I love the metaphors like sweeping the anxiety back like dust because the reader can relate. You successfully described the differences between you and your friend, and how it made you both fit together. It felt like you were definitely a protector and voice for her. I have more of a difficult time reading lengthy poetry; one, I have to interpret more (my biggest weakness), and two, it can become monotonous and lose my attention span. With “Full-Circle” I didn’t have to interpret anything, which was great, however; I would have liked some things stand out differently as you did in the second stanza “she couldn’t hide it —her relief—” that was a nice touch. Sometimes having some words stand out differently on its own helps to emphasize something significant and keep my interest.
    I was drawn to the word choices you used in “Forecasting”; like “sullen clouds”, and “chilled drops”. I can tell you put some careful thought into the word choices and structure of the poem.

    “Insomnic Sonnet” felt like it was a famous poem! This also had a nice rhythm and I liked the rhyming touch. I had trouble interpreting this one the most but it still captivated me and I felt the main comparison between sleep and the ocean setting. “For Myself” really shows your talent too! You have a great skill with choosing words. I wish I had your talent with poetry. I cherish God so I like how you included God in this one. Great job with your poetry, definitely hold onto these and share them.

  5. Aubri Stogsdill

    I really enjoyed your poems. One thing I liked about them is I feel like I could clearly see who you are through them. Which was lovely. (:
    “Full Circle” was so sweet and relatable. Reading the progression of a close friendship over the course of several years is always so nostalgic to me. There is nothing as valuable and beautiful as two people growing in knowing and caring for each other. I like that I could see your strength in it too, you’re not one who will let your friends get pushed around! Don’t ever lose that!

    “Forecasting” was probably my favorite of all of your poems. I like that while you’re talking about rain, you also seem to be referencing your response to difficult things (or maybe I’m just reading into this haha). Your description of the rain and your decision to believe the best and stay positive is valiant and the picture you’ve painted is so peaceful.

    Insomnic Sonnet BLEW MY MIND. Your choice of words was FANTASTIC. Comparing your bed to the struggles of being at sea was intriguing! Generally, it is hard for me to follow the thoughts and associations that are made in poems, but I started reading and my eyes just kept going with each line without frustration or confusion. In fact, I got very excited as I read and wanted to hear it all. The last two lines about sleep and pearls were BEAUTIFUL. AHHH<3

    IT seems like these lines:
    " Jesus knows your insides.”
    And while that might save my soul
    it doesn’t curb the swelling tide
    to which I feel the pull.

    from, "For Myself" are speaking about the struggle of staying balanced with truth and reality in spite of the emotions that are inevitably involved in our lives. It is so true that simply saying yes to Jesus doesn't cure everything- it takes that constant walk with God in order to combat the swell of our own (sometimes off) emotions.

    Your poetry is lovely. I would say keep it up, but I know that you plan to. (;

  6. Michelle Cordova


    First of all, I would like to point out that you are an incredible writer! While reading your poems, I felt as if this was another poetry pack, written by a famous author and assigned for the Reading Responses. It is clear that you are extremely talented, and I truly enjoyed reading your pieces!

    I really liked your introduction that gave some insight as to when and how your poems were created. “Think Big” is definitely one that I feel most of us can relate to- college students in a relationship, putting off our studies. I like how you added that Levi was doing chemistry homework, and then added some physical details, showing a different type of chemistry as you watched his movements. Though it is not a mushy poem, I can still feel the connection you two share just by your word choices.

    “Full Circle” is also a great poem that clearly tells of a special relationship you have with your friend. I love the way you describe how the two of you balance each other out, and I can’t help but think about my friendships that do the same while reading this poem. Giving this poem the same beginning and end really works for me as the middle helps the reader understand why giving this speech at the wedding is so important to you.

    “Forecasting” is full of so much description that it really proves you are a fantastic writer. Your word choices capture the reader, and for me, make this poem speak volumes through the short lines.

    “Insomnic Sonnet” is one of my favorite poems in your pack. Again, you have a clear knack for writing, and I felt like it was very professionally written and clean. I couldn’t help but read this poem like a pirate, which helped to make it a little more fun and a little less dark, even though insomnia is the worst!

    Lastly, I really enjoyed the rhyming sequence you chose for “For Myself.” “I dabble in arts of all minds, I paint in oils and pastels” were probably my favorite lines of all of the poems. It struck a chord with me, and I think that’s a huge part in writing poetry- choosing your words so wisely that they can’t help but pull the audience in and make them want more.

    I find it incredibly difficult to critique your poetry as it is all beautifully written and deep. I am nowhere near this talented in this area and feel inspired by your work to continue learning and writing. Excellent job and keep up the good work!

  7. Caitlyn Williams


    I liked your introductions and how you wrote about when the poems were written; it makes the poetry more interesting right off the bat. It gives me the feeling of living poetry, how it’s written sometimes in parts, and how poetry is expressed through experiences. The length of your poems were great, I liked that each were their own, but at the same time they belonged with each other!

    “Think Big” was a relatable piece and the details were great. You included the small things, and that shows the moments played out as they happened. Visualization and emotion play a big part in poetry, and this poem had both. I loved the last stanza, it was clever the way you included “Think Big” by Peter Schjeldahl, and connected it to you and Levi. The last lines were amazing!

    “Full Circle” was a lengthy poem, it almost could have been a story, but I appreciated the history of you and your best friend. The structure of this poem is really clever! I love how the poem starts and end with the same lines, ugh I love it! It shows the significance of giving a speech at your best friend’s wedding, and it makes that staza that much more powerful.

    “Forecasting” was brilliant . It was realistic, it captured the beauty of hope and happiness we should have through the storm. Your use of words in this poem were 10/10. The line “Refreshing, it runs through my eyelashes, feathers my cheeks” really got to me. Remembering renewal is really important, and this poem captures that.

    I loved the poem “Insomnic Sonnet” I loved the metaphors and how the last lines tie in with the title. This was the most poetic in my opinion, and I liked its rhythm. I also liked the last poem, “For Myself” and how you explained the way poetry grounds you. I wanted to interpret this poem, and I did for the most part, but it did leave me with a feeling of mystery. (not sure why)

    Overall you did great, I liked your poetry collection. Other than a few feeling like more of a story, your poems were amazing! I see how important poetry is to you in the last poem, keep it up! You’re talented!

  8. Katherine Whelchel


    You are a meticulous, inspired writer that should be getting coffee with the “greats”. It is clear that this is your passion; to show the world the beauty of humanity and show the profound importance in the smallest details. Being able to call you my friend only deepens my love for these poems because there are no facades. This collection is you. The wording, prose, metaphors, all of it really, are so inexplicably true; they come from the essence of your heart.

    I had a unique connection to your poems, mostly because I feel I have been able to see them lived out by you. Levi’s touches and your love for Mark and Arianna are purely placed. You are such a great writer. I feel that you have recognized what is the most important in writing and have weaved it into each piece.

    “Think Big” has a special place in my heart. The overall theme is simple enough, but this potent strength covers the entire poem. Your last stanza brings the entire poem into place. What a lovely picture of your relationship with Levi. “Full-Circle” was like a field of flowers. I pictured you two laughing and dancing around in the field as a read. I know it sounds silly, but that is truly the picture I received while reading.There was a breathlessness about it and a clear motivation of love. I kind of hope you read that at her bridal party!

    “Insomnic Sonnet” had a different feel, but still held power. Your descriptions were on point and beautifully placed. The picture of the sea set the tone for the entire piece. “For Myself” was so thoughtful and pulled at my heartstrings. Your language was so clear, yet abstract if not looking from the right angle.

    “Jesus gave me things to sigh
    but not an audience at hand.
    When you read, I poke “Its only a try”
    knowing you most likely won’t understand.” I related to this stanza so so much. There is such an intimate place with Jesus, where peeks from other people can sometimes only bring confusion.

    There is nothing more I can say; you are SUCH a talented writer! 🙂

  9. Cassidy Kramer

    Hello Naimy!
    I like how you gave us an insight to each poem before you started your collection. I believe that it gave the reader a needed background that cannot be displayed in a short poem. Your poems were very lengthy, which I enjoyed because it gave a new dimension to your collection. They were much longer than mine, as I struggled to meet the requirements.
    I thought your first poem “Think Big” is very sweet. The silent flirtations that flows between each person is something that I wouldn’t have thought to display in a poem. Your next poem “Full-Circle” is lovely. How you explained your process of finding the correct words, for your best friend’s wedding. I like how you are trying not to embarrass her by only focusing on the good of the relationship, even though it may be hard to not make fun of your BFF. My favorite line in that poem was when you explained the “glass of champagne dangling from two fingers like a string of beads.” It is amazing how you managed to use those two lines give me an imagery of a perfect wedding, with smiling faces all around.
    The next poem “Forecasting” was also very pretty. I liked the imagery you used of the drops running through your eyelashes and feathering your cheeks. I thought it was very nice. If I did not know that this poem was from notes on a different story, I would have thought that it was part of a very descriptive journal entry. Again, the imagery you use in this poem is amazing. I liked the beginning when you explain the chilled drops that shatter and “explode” with expectant surprise.
    In the poem “For Myself” I liked how you added that poetry reminds you of your rhythm’s ring. I also liked how you rhymed the words, something that you did not do in your other poems, but I think that it is good that you did not do it in your other poems because it brought a freshness to the last poem “For Myself”.
    Poetry seems to come natural to you, and that is great! I can tell how much thought you put into this collection, and you do not fail to please. Unfortunately, I do not have much to critique because I really like how you say things in this collection. The thing that caught my eye was all the different imagery you used to display ideas. Great job!

  10. Jessica Honebein

    Naimy, first off all I would like to say that I really like how your poem collection came together. I that it was a really good idea to bring in “scraps” of your life and put them together to make a collection. I also think that the length of the poems, even though they were all different lengths they got the specific story/point that they need to get across.

    Think Big- I like the personal touch in this poem, I think that I liked it because I feel that it embodied the actual feelings and actions of trying to get assignments down around a special friends. I like how I could picture everything that happened within the poem and how each detail played a bigger role in the poem itself. I enjoyed how you talked about the relationship and overall I was able to walk away from this poem with a better understanding on what you were trying to get say and what the relationship between you and him really embodied. ‘

    Full Circle- I think the thing that I liked most about this poem was the foreshadowing you did in the beginning. Then with the closure of the same stanza at the end making sure that the reader gathered the message that you wanted them to. I loved all the detail and insight into your life. I think that from the relationship I can now say I have learned a little bit more about you. I like how you brought the reader through your thought process as you yourself were gathering what you wanted to say for the speech.

    Forecasting- I think that this poem gave a little insight on you as the author, although I still enjoyed it. It had a good amount of detail in the poem, but also not to much to cloud what you were trying to tell the reader. I think that there could be a deeper meaning in what you said at the end,
    “And as I feel it seep to my scalp,
    remembering renewal,
    how much easier now,
    to forecast.” I am not sure if I can depict what the deeper meaning is, but this last stanza seemed to stick with me the most.

    Insomniac Sonnet- I think that this poem really embodied the intense feeling of being trapped in your own mind at night. I think that you used good description in the poem and it was easy for the reader to follow along in what you were saying. I think that it gives insight to those that have never had to deal with the ongoing battle of not being able to sleep. It is “Like divers after pearls in waters deep” when you are really trying to connect with a deep sleep.

    For Myself- I like how this poem showed the reader the religion that you have. I think that a lot of people can relate to you when it comes with always having him at heart. Overall, it was simple but I feel it got the point across that you wanted to, and opened up your religion to the class.

  11. Corbin Knapp

    Naimy, I really enjoyed your poems. They all flowed very smoothly and kept me engaged. The way you included how you thought of these poems and wrote them down also made the poems more relatable for me. I should have done that for my poetry pack. “Think Big” was a great poem that I think a lot of people can relate to. I enjoyed this poem because it was a great description of a normal day in your life. “Today we met after class as usual. He set his laptop up on the desk and I pulled out the week’s New Yorker.” This line sets the scene for the poem perfectly providing me with great words that help me picture the scene. It is a great “slice of life“ poem that is very well done.

    “Full-Circle” also flows really well and is really relatable, but I had a little difficulty in keeping engaged with the poem because of its length. It is well written, but it seems just a bit too long. Maybe make it a little bit shorter if you want to revise it? It might help readers to stay engaged and anxious to finish reading your poem to the end. Besides that there is nothing wrong with this poem. You use words that are easy to understand instead of confusing words that twist and turn.

    I really enjoyed reading “Forecasting” because I feel the same way about rain. One line that I really enjoyed is “when I catch a shattering of chilled drops.” That line is amazing! The way you used the word shattering to suggest the cold of the chilled drops is an intriguing combination! You continue the description of rain with the next line, “crisp, cold, exploding with expectant surprise, across my nose.” You proceed to make a great description of the rain which helps the reader picture it even more clearly. Great job!

    “Insomniac Sonnet” is an interesting poem about insomnia I am guessing? The way you wrote it I can picture it as a pirates story too, because of all the ship and sea themed words you used throughout the poem. I sometimes struggle with insomnia as well, so I can really relate to this poem. “I toss and turn like salty ocean waves disintegrating ship and mind alike-” This is a great line, and an excellent use of a simile. Your last poem “For Myself” was a great ending to your collection and has a very “poetic” feel to it. I especially enjoyed the line, “I dabble in arts of all minds, I paint in both oils and pastel and sing through every incline as well as each falling spell.” I enjoyed how you compared different parts of the mind to different kinds of art media. That was an excellent metaphor.

    I think you are an excellent writer and I hope you continue to write poems. One thing you could maybe improve on is shortening a few of your poems so that readers stay engaged throughout the whole poem. Your poems “Forecasting” and “Insomnic Sonnet” were the perfect lengths for me. Other than that I think your poems are great!

  12. Ben Knapp

    I enjoyed reading your poetry, and I think it’s really cool that it was taken from notes written in all different kinds of places. Because your poetry is comprised of your best ideas, no matter where they happen to come to you, you are able to ensure that you can always do some of your best work. Anybody who has written poetry has probably had many good ideas that they have never taken advantage of because of when and where they have them.

    The poem that stood out the most to me was “Full-circle.” The poem describes how a friend, who the narrator has helped throughout the years, has asked the narrator to speak at her wedding. The poem begins with the narrator about to deliver the speech. The poem then jumps back in time to the narrator actually writing the speech. While writing the speech, the narrator thinks back her childhood spent with her friend. While this may sound a little convoluted when written out as I have here, I think it works very well in your poem.

    One line that I really liked was “stand-up act and DJ for when she needed cheer.” I think this says a lot about the narrator and her relationship with her friend. Perhaps the narrator would tell jokes or play music when her friend was feeling bad, or comment on things in a way that made her friend feel better. It shows the reader that the narrator would spend a lot of her time thinking about her friend and how to improve her day a little.

    Later in the poem, the narrator describes her own and her friend’s personalities. The narrator is loud where the friend is quiet. The narrator is unsympathetic, while the friend is full of sympathy. This helps create a dynamic in the mind of the reader as to the kind of relationship the narrator and her friend had. Perhaps the narrator would try to make her friend feel better, but, being loud an unsympathetic, would sometimes find it difficult. Your poetry is very good at creating images such as this.

    The poem then once again jumps back to where it began; ending with a stanza very similar to that which it began with. The main difference is that in this stanza, the narrator is looking back at how she and her friend used to be, and how far they have come now. I think this is the perfect way to conclude your poem.

    Another poem I really liked was “Forecasting.” This poem seems to be mainly about enjoying rain for what it is; a cycle of renewal. Although I really enjoyed the poem and its theme, I feel like the title didn’t fit it really well. It might have been better if you had done a little more to tie the poem and its title together, or else named it something different entirely.

    Altogether, I think your poetry is very good. Taking notes of ideas wherever they come to you definitely was a good thing for your poetry, and I think it is a good idea for you to continue using in the future. I really enjoyed reading your poetry, and look forward too seeing more of your work!

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